This is a relatively easy one. Just stop rowing the boat so hard. It’s the fastest and most effective way to connect with a man and not mentally drown. Quit believing that you have to work “hard” to secure his love. Stop believing that he’ll disappear into thin air if you don’t work hard enough. That’s right. Just bring it all to an abrupt close. Stop making plans to fill in the free time and being exaggeratedly affectionate. Put an end to spoiling him with pricey gifts, as well as initiating sex and all the intimate conversations. Bring it all to a grinding halt.
This may seem a little radical at first. However, when you seem to be the only one that cares, it can take a toll on your happiness.
Some women are in relationships where they are only receiving the bare minimum from their partners. And so, by filling in the gaps, they believe that they can overcompensate for the difference. With the war on love being waged today, women now feel that they have to prove themselves to be loved. They feel that the ball is now in men’s courts. And so, if they don’t love enough, the men may lose interest quickly and leave them out in the cold. Whatever the reason, the conclusion is unchanged: they become professionals at “working hard” for love.
As women, it’s in our nature to try to fill things up and build something where there is nothing. Have you ever walked into a man’s barely furnished home and felt a strong need to redecorate? In relationships, women feel it’s their job to enhance the unfilled space: to pack every quiet moment with words; to seal the distance with love and affection; to fill the free time with activities. This great quality is a gift we have to offer our men. However, when we row the boat all by ourselves, we wind up going overboard head first. We were never meant to do it alone.
When you realize that you’re constantly treating a man a lot better than you treat you, it’s time to make a change.
That said, here are three actions you may want to consider taking:
- To start with, make an inventory list of all the ways you “fill in the gaps”. Use the list as a self-reminder of what not to do in your relationship.
- Afterward, give your partner the reins. Take breathers in conversations and let your partner talk or bring up the next topic. Also, if you’re guilty of this, stop making the first move in the bedroom. Give your man a chance to seduce you. And when your partner asks about the next weekend plans, reply with, “why don’t you surprise me?”. Let him freely furnish you with happiness.
- Last, in order but not least in importance, fill your calendar with fulfilling activities. That’s so your relationship is not the only thing occupying space in your mind or that you’re living for. Follow your dreams, take great care of yourself, join a health club, go to the movies and travel solo, take on an ambitious home improvement project, or take a pleasurable class. Just do anything you really love. Do something for yourself.