Re-entering the world of dating after being in a long-term relationship can feel depressing as the dating scene has changed so much. For some women, it can be tough to explore new ways of meeting men. On top, adjusting to the rules on how dating now works can be tricky.
“I wonder if Mr. Right exist…I’ve met Mr.Crazy, Mr. Lazy, Mr.Married. Mr.Queer …
The first thing to do is embrace the process. We all want the first date to go smoothly. That’s the way it does in romantic Hollywood films but seldom is that. And so, we need to have a positive attitude toward taking a risk and potential rejection.
Have the right perspective
I believe that women should welcome rejection. Doing so saves us a lot of time and unnecessary pain and misery down the line. It can be hard to stay positive after a man has ghosted you or if he tells you that you are not for him. Still, keep in mind that this does mean that we are not worthy. It could just mean that we were not the right woman for them.
I believe that women should welcome rejection. Doing so saves us a lot of time and unnecessary pain and misery down the line. It can be hard to stay positive and feel confident after a man has ghosted you or if he tells you that you are not for him. Still, keep in mind that this does mean that we are not worthy. It could just mean that we were not the right woman for them.
Meeting men
If you want to find someone who shares specific interests i.e. political affiliations, hobbies etc, consider joining groups or organizations with that focus. There is a wide range of groups listed on Meetup.com to join. While the groups are not for dating per se, I believe that a group is a more organic way to meet men who share similar interests than a dating app. It’s not a guarantee to men interested in dating, but it’s a more relaxed environment and a chance to be doing something fun and meet new people in general.
Planning a first Date
I recommend meeting for dessert and coffee on the first date. You can always plan to go for dinner on another day if the first date goes well. I would also let a friend or family member know where you are going and with whom, providing them with your date’s name and contact details. Also, I strongly suggest meeting at a café an hour or two before it closes. That way if the date is not going well, when asked to leave, you can head home. If you don’t click with the guy, trust your instincts and do not accept an invitation to go back to his place. You don’t have to explain yourself.
Take your time. Don’t rush into something. The slow dance of getting to know each other can be more alluring. When you make the step to go to a guy’s home, private setting, or invite him to your place, text a friend with the name and address of the person and what time you’ll be checking in with them. With femicide and violence against women being on the rise, better to be safe than sorry.
Practice Safe Sex
If you are on the pill, keep that to yourself and use a safer sex barrier with everyone you are intimate with until you are in a committed relationship for several months. Keep condoms in your purse. I’ll tell you why. If a man wants to have sex with you without using a condom, that means that he may, more than likely, have done the same with other women (or men) that week or month, which puts you at risk for contracting a STI. Many people are asymptomatic. Some guys are not all there and won’t share if they have one.
The Point is…
Put yourself out there. You may not have a great time on every dating adventure, but as long as nothing offensive or traumatic happens, just embrace the journey and see where it leads you.