a couple having an argument

Why Men Play Mind Games in Relationships

A boy plays with your mind. A man explores it.

Generally, men play mind games because they are insecure, juvenile, or born with controlling personalities. Sadly, these broken men are not fit to be in solid relationships. It is what it is. Most are unable and unwilling to trust and connect with women in meaningful ways. In their minds female oppression is a myth and men are the ones holding the short end of the stick. If I may say so, their main goal then is to keep women in check. That said, here are some mind games that men play in relationships and how to identify them. 

PLAYING HARD TO GET

This is becoming more common among men today. Playing hard to get is when someone goes out of their way to appear disinterested in a person. The goal with men is to make themselves look like the prize in women’s eyes. Also, men who play hard to get usually like the feeling of being pursued. Being chased makes them feel more powerful and as though you are interested in them.

WITHHOLDING LOVE AND AFFECTION

This occurs in relationships a lot. Manipulative men often withhold love and affection when they want to maintain control. It’s a form of passive-aggressive behavior, which qualifies as emotional abuse in my mind. Unlike partners who have the occasional need for space, abusers hold back showing love and affection randomly and deliberately. This “hot and cold” behavior is mostly used to condition women to slowly say yes to unacceptable cruelty.

LOVE BOMBING

Love bombing is what manipulative men often do at the start of the relationship. It involves trying too hard to appear perfect—the ideal man of your dreams. Texting all day, buying gifts constantly, and moving too quickly in the relationship are typical. These men want commitment now, are overly needy and get bothered when you set needed limits.

SENDING MIXED SIGNALS

A man who sends mixed signals may act interested in you and then ignore you completely—only to be interested later. In this scenario, he may not necessarily be behaving like this on purpose. It is possible that he is just not sure of his feelings and therefore does not want to commit. On the other hand, some guys send mixed messages to make women feel insecure and desperate. They only emotionally show up when it is convenient for them. 

TESTING PERSONAL BOUNDARIES

This is when a guy does something harmful or disrespectful to you to watch your reaction. He is testing your personal boundaries. Essentially, he wants to see if you have the inner strength to stand up for yourself. Men who resort to this look for women preferably with no personal boundaries or little self-esteem. You never want to be that woman. 

PROJECTING ONTO OTHERS

Projecting is when one person attributes their own thoughts, feelings, and actions to someone else. For instance, an unfaithful man may wrongly accuse his partner of being too playful or friendly with other men. Afterward, the woman ends up wasting her time and energy defending herself. That’s instead of closely looking at her partner and questioning his motives.

GASLIGHTING

Gaslighting is a mind game that manipulators play when they want to make women doubt reality. Gaslighters withhold information, lie about petty things, and deny they ever said things you vividly recall they said. Moreover, they are also usually successful at convincing unsuspecting women that they are mentally unfit or too sensitive. These men sometimes even go so far as to hide your items to make you second guess your sanity and memory.

JUST MOVE ON

If you feel that your man is playing mind games, don’t beat him at his own game. Instead, let him know that you are aware and not accepting his dysfunctional behavior. If communication does not immediately correct the behavior, you should probably cut your losses soon and move on.

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